Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(

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(985): View more from Louisiana

any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.

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(845): View more from New York

that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...

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(435): View more from Utah

Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line

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(914): View more from New York

The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.

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(949): View more from California

I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?

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