If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
