never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
