I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
