I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
