Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
