Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
