And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize