"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
