I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
