Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
