Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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