I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
