You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I supernannyed him into submission
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize