This house was built for laser tag.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
