That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
