im having a threesome with these popsicles
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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