So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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