Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
