You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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