dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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