You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
