Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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