Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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