Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
