i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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