She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
