Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
