Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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