Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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