it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
