11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
