would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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