We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
