when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
