Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
