I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
