Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
