I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
