if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Come share oat with me in your robe
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
