Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Randomize