I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
