brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
