There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
