She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
