at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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