I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
