Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
how does that bad decision feel?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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