i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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