Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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