the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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