maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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