You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
