Say something about gay babies.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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