In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
its liver damage thursday
Randomize