Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
