I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
