yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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