I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
be right there i have to get my cape
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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