So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
sex in a hospital.. check
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
