We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
