I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
