thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
