so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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