I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
